Pass Me the Zen is the title of a painting series I started while desperately looking for peace within the chaos of grief when my husband died. That was seven years ago. The series has only three paintings. Yep, turns out cultivating peace takes a long freakin’ time. At least, it did for me. And even now, I catch myself eyeballing chaos like an ex: maybe it will work this time? Even though three breakups later, it hasn’t.
I grew up with chaos. I understood it. Chaos has been with me through everything. He’s loyal like that. Chaos lived with us, and so did his little brother, Trauma. When unattended, he could really wreck a room. I never wanted chaos. When I could finally see things clearly, I broke it off for good. It wasn’t a pretty breakup. My neurons continued to scream to ride down their familiar pathways. And I would fight it off with every visualization I could conjure up.
Navigating your way to inner peace when chaos abounds can be a long and challenging road. It may take years to cultivate a sense of calm. Even when we think we’ve moved on, we may find ourselves drawn back into it. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that the way we’re living is chaotic until we step back and take a closer look.
But sometimes, we can find moments of peace in unexpected places. For me, it is painting. That is when everything in my system calms down. The chaos finds a way through the marks on the canvas. It rests in the colors I choose to mix. It settles when I stir in the paint. It finds it has been seen when a painting like this comes into existence. Learning to retrain my brain from a lifetime of traumatic experiences and the loss of my husband has been no peaceful road, I can assure you. Nonetheless, it has been my road. And on the side of it exists mile markers of challenges, serenity, and moments of peace.
This painting, Your Smiling Buddha, is one of them. I just released these as limited run prints so if you want a piece of peace, head on over to my site. Only 25 available!
Until next time,
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